My Body
by March and September
Summary: Set in the future. Roderich Edelstein has been set up with a "Hacker," since he was a little boy. Roderich can't leave the job that disgusts him and the hacker who abuses him because of his family. But will his Gilbert persuade him otherwise? Warnings: cursing, substance abuse, physical abuse, death of some characters. Hurt/Comfort, Fantasy, Romance.
1. Chapter 1

_Inhale. _

Roderich complied.

_Exhale. _

Roderich held his breath, curious about what his Hacker would do.

_Roderich? Exhale. _

The Austrian was terrified of the Russian, but too curious to do as instructed.

Roderich jolted forward, all the air in his lungs flying out of him. He wrapped his arms around himself in pain. That bastard had sent electric shocks through his body, or at least that's what it felt like.

_Was that really necessary? _Roderich decided he wasn't going to piss off his Hacker anymore. _Da, my little 'Body' wasn't listening. _Roderich sighed; he really hated Ivan being his 'Hacker,' he was commanding and savage.

Roderich barely listened to Ivan's voice, doing his orders almost subconsciously; his mind had taken him far away. His parent's were so pleased when they learned their little boy could 'Link', they had found out when eight year old Roderich told them about his weird dreams of people controlling his body. To him it was simply a nightmare, but to them it was a dream come true.

His parents took him to the Lab, and that's where he met Ivan. There weren't many people who could 'Link,' and people who could always worked for the Government. The 'Hacker' would connect to their 'Body'; carrying out the tasks the Government wanted them to do. It made him sick. This 'Government' was more like a dictatorship. There were some Hackers and Bodies that ran away to the Rebellion to fight for justice. Roderich longed to run away. But he couldn't. First of all, his 'Hacker' didn't love him, like the ones that ran away did, and his parents became rich because of all of this. Where would his poor mother and father end up?

Roderich groaned; Hackers and Bodies were supposed to _love _each other.

Hackers and Bodies were supposed to _find _one another, not be set up in the Lab.

_Now, _the Russian's voice rang in his head, _check the list. Is he on the list? _

Roderich ran his nimble finger down the stack of paper, licked his fingertip and turned the page.

_Yup, _he reported, _'Ludwig Beilschmidt.' _

_Okay, my little 'Body,' _his bubbly voice sang, _'exiled.' _

Roderich held the pencil above the document. He couldn't do this; it was too hard. People always got exiled so easily, for the stupidest things. Even speaking their minds. No, Roderich _couldn't _do this.

Obviously, the Russian felt his resistance and sent shock to his hand, causing him to clench the pencil in pain. _'Sorry, sorry.' _

He scribbled down a check mark next to Ludwig's name and pursed his lips in disgust.

Ivan 'disconnected' from him, the feeling of his whole body being filled up vanished and left Roderich feeling drained.

He disgusted himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Roderich tossed back his head and ran his thin fingers through his dark hair.

He was sitting in the middle of his two-story house, on a fold up chair. It was the least fancy thing in his home; he had to hide it whenever his parents came over.

Roderich let out a frustrated groan; he had interviewed _nine _people today. _Nine people. _Some had been way too loud, one guy had even ranted about heroes for an hour, and some had been way to quiet. To be honest, Roderich wanted a change from the lonely lifestyle he had grown up with. He wanted freedom. His parents were always conditioning him a certain way, Ivan was always controlling him, the Government was always keeping him place.

"_What are you doing?" _The Austrian wondering aloud to himself, _like a roommate will change any of this…_

"Ding dong! Awesome has arrived."

Roderich flinched slightly at the noise. _What on earth?_

The brunette got up and strolled over to the door. He went wide-eyed and gasped at the sight of a tall albino.

_Hündin, did you really have to make your shock that obvious? _

"Y-you must be here for the room." Roderich was completely flustered and embarrassed.

The Prussian smiled a devilish smile,

"Yeah, it's a nice place you got here, _specs."_

Roderich went wide-eyed once more, just amusing the albino further. The tinier man invited the other inside. The albino took a moment to take in the large house and turned to Roderich, "I'm Gilbert. This place is real fancy, why such low rent? What're you going to do? Are you playing to kill me or something? I'm too awesome to die."

Roderich was clearly taken aback, confused and almost mystified. "Well," he cleared his throat, "Most people can't afford it, plus you'd also have to do the house work. I really don't need the money."

_I just to get the house cleaned and maybe some company…_

His cheeks pinked, _nein, not the last part. _

"Ja," Roderich coughed, "So, you'd have to do the dishes, clean the rooms…except my room and the music room, those are off limits. Also, I expect breakfast made every morning. I get up at eight." Gilbert raised his eyebrows, "Alright, priss. Where's my room?"

Roderich frowned at the nickname and curled his fists. "Excuse me, _Gilbert. _When you're in my household, I expect a little respect." Gilbert chuckled, "_Respect? _I thought you were a friend, not a boss, specs."

Gilbert watched the smaller man nervously. He couldn't tell what the guy was thinking; he seemed to be struggling with his decision.

"Ja," Roderich exhaled, "I'll show your room."

Roderich inwardly sighed.

Totally arbitrary.

The first thing that Roderich could register was the smell of bacon. _A lot _of bacon.

Roderich went down the stairs and to the kitchen, the smell growing more and more repugnant. Roderich took in the ghastly sight: a few burned biscuits and a pile of fatty bacon. The countertops splattered with juices and the bottoms of his pans were burned. A complete mess.

"Gilbert," Roderich tried to remain calm, eyeing the handsome albino, "What is _this?" _

"'_This'," _he beamed, waving towards the food, "is an awesome breakfast made by the awesome me."

_No, no, no, _this wasn't what Roderich expecting at all.

"Oh, come on priss, just try it."

The Prussian gave him an abrupt, _infuriating, _elbow nudge. Roderich, who would usually never respond to such a childish act, found himself elbowing his roommate back, _twice as hard. _

"So, and how about we go to the park after this?"

Roderich dropped to the table in defeat, cutting a piece of bacon.

"Ja," Roderich grimaced at the overcooked taste. "I'd like that."

Everything was going well in Roderich's home.

It was almost turning into a tradition there; Gilbert would wake up and conjure up some horrendous breakfast, the two would go to the park (Gilbert would mercilessly mess with Roderich) the two would go home, Gilbert would listen to Roderich's music, Gilbert would make a horrendous dinner and then would mercilessly mess with Roderich.

But today was different.

Roderich was sitting in his music, his thin fingers gracefully caressing the keys.

Gilbert loved to watch the rich man sway back and forth to the music, gently twitching an eyebrow or exhaling as the music became more and more intense. Gilbert couldn't believe the amount of time he'd spent with this guy, he'd only lived here for three weeks and he was completely comfortable with him. Gilbert looked closer at the slender affluent; Gilbert had to admit he found him attractive. Especially his silky hair against his white skin. _Oh, and that beauty mark_ _is adorable. _But, Gilbert would never tell him that. In fact he constantly poked fun at it.

Gilbert really enjoyed the Austrian's company, most people would never think of comebacks like Roderich; nobody nowadays had any god damn passion about music like Roderich; nobody had any god damn class like Roderich. Gilbert was drawn in by his sheer mindset; he had amazing intuition. Roderich knew when to be seen and when to be heard. Gilbert could rant for hours and Roderich would smile sweetly and just take everything he said in. He was good at listening, Gilbert felt like Roderich really knew him.

_Verdammt, you sound like a preteen girl with a crush. _

_Bam. _Gilbert was pulled out of his daydream with a sudden slip of a key. An unpleasant noise. Roderich never messed up.

Big, terrified violet eyes gawked at Gilbert.

"Specs…" Gilbert's heart skipped a beat, "What's wrong?"

The Austrian moaned and fell to the ground on all fours, "Gilbert…Gilbert," his voice was raspy, worrying the Prussian further, "I have to go now. Farewell!"

Normally Gilbert would snort at Roderich's formality, but now he was far too concerned.

"What?" The man pressed on his heels and chased after his roommate. "Roderich! Get back here!" _What the hell? _Had Roderich suddenly fallen ill? No, that wouldn't make any sense. "Roderich, please." The two were now in the living room, the taller reaching for his friend. "Please!"

He took the richer man's hand in his own, "Roderich. Slow down. What's happening?"

_Who's that? _Roderich's whole body shook at the Russian's voice. _It's just my roommate. _

He felt his body dissolve, slowly, his power disintegrating.

He felt the cruel Hacker reach his invisible strings and pull Roderich hand, slapping away Gilbert.

"Just stay away from me!"

Roderich wasn't sure if he was shouting at Gilbert or Ivan; but either way tears threatened his eyes. "God, _what's happening?" _

"You seem at war with yourself, specs." Gilbert's voice was colder than usual.

Roderich wanted nothing more than for Gilbert to understand, to be able to tell him everything. But no, Gilbert wouldn't understand. Civilians hated Hackers and Bodies. They were the things helping the Government carry out their unfair laws. _Roderich _hated himself.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ugh," the brunette moaned and turned on his stomach, his face hitting something soft.

His head was pounding, he felt ill and fatigued. Roderich turned over to his side on what he assumed was his periwinkle colored bed.

"Hm," Roderich hummed, smiling slightly, recognizing his comforting sheets. Had the whole incident been a dream?

Roderich gripped the silky blanket beneath him; fear shook his body.

He inhaled sharply and cautiously opened an eye.

_Verdammt. _

"Gilbert…" he spoke softly to the dark figure above him. Roderich heaved himself to a sitting position, clearing his throat and fixing his hair.

"I s-suppose you're waiting for an explanation," Roderich tried not to stutter or shake, refusing to looking his friend in the eye.

"What the fuck happened?" Roderich grimaced at the vulgarity.

"Gilbert…I wish I could explain, but it's a very personal matter. I apologize if I frightened you, I promise that I'll-"

"Jesus, Roderich!" Gilbert slammed his pale hands onto the sheets. It didn't startle Roderich, who was used to him being overdramatic.

"Why can't you just talk to me? I thought we were friends. What did I tell you about that damn formality?"

Roderich chewed his lip. God, Gilbert was acting childish. Adults have private affairs that they can't even tell their closet friends. Separation, independence and privacy are all part of growing up.

"Listen, _Gilbert_," Roderich hissed and squeezed his eyes shut, "I do not need to share this with you. It is _my _business. You're my roommate, practically my employee. _Yes, _I enjoy your company but that doesn't mean I'm entitled to share any of this with you!"

Roderich waited for the stubborn man to respond and it only angered the Austrian further when he failed to reply.

"Gilbert!" Roderich's eyes opened. He was alone in the dark room. He was alone. Gilbert had just left without a word. He was alone.

"Arschloch," he flopped down and shouted into his pillow, "What a child!"

_Da, very immature. _

The familiar voice sent chills down his spine.

"Ivan…" Roderich slid his hands to his cheeks. Had Ivan been listening the whole time?

_Ivan, what do you want? _Roderich communicated telepathically which came through clearest to the Hacker.

_Hm, my sweet Body, I have a job for us._

…

Hey, guys! Thanks for reading, I'm super sorry that my writing has gone down and the plot is looking sort of suck-ish. U.U. I've just been unbelievably busy this week, I swear, starting tomorrow I'm going to sit down and focus solely on my stories. I promise it'll get a lot better! Thank you guys' c:.


	4. Chapter 4

Smells of vodka and cologne assaulted his unfortunate nostrils.

Roderich took a step back in the unkempt house. He'd been here a few times before, it seems the alcohol bottles that littered the floor before were here again or perhaps they never left. Roderich scrunched his nose; he never understood how the Russian could keep his home so filthy. The Government provided their Hackers with even more money than their Bodies and even Roderich could afford maids.

Ivan strolled into the living room, a smile on his face, "Take a seat."

The table was small and even the chairs had an unrealistic amount of dust on them. Roderich hesitated to sit, but then realized his Hacker would become callous at his defiance.

"I think I've got us our biggest job yet." Ivan rubbed his meaty thumbs together. Roderich sat questioningly, what on earth could the job be? A big job means a big paycheck. Something his parents are very found of.

"That would make Mutter und Vater very happy." The Austrian murmured out-loud.

"Da," Ivan agreed sweetly, "You see, the job is quite simple. I'd stay back and read the instructions and map of the Rebellion Camp and you'd go to them, saying that you're sick of the Government. That you want out. After they let you into their town…I'd tell you what to do…then you'd leave. Da. That's it." Roderich sighed, "The job isn't simple, you just make it sound so." Ivan leaned in closer; the air between them was cold and unpleasant. "Ah, it's not to difficult, my little body. The Rebellion Camps are different than our homeland. The Rebellion let their citizens outside their territory. People are free to come and go."

Roderich groaned and leaned back in his chair. Roderich already felt dirty for working for the Government, but now he was actually going against the establishment he secretly supported. Ivan licked his lips and grinned at Roderich making the orderly man feel even more uncomfortable than before.

"Alright," Roderich nodded his head and ignored his aching stomach. "When're we going to do this?"

What was he suppose to say anyway? He can't go against his parents and certainly not against the beige-haired man when he's in choking distance.

Ivan simpered; he was at his happiest when people complied. "Roderich, my little Body," the Russian reached out and stroked Roderich's hair, making the thin man's heart stop. "You're so lovely when you do what you're told."

Roderich wanted to cross his arms and purse his lips, but was careful not to make any body language that would offend Ivan. Ivan kept up his childish demeanor as he sang out Roderich's name. "My little body. I'm not a boss, I'm a friend."

…

Roderich arrived home exhausted. The Russian had that effect on him. Everything seemed to pressing down on him, not just by the facts that tomorrow he'd be infiltrating the Rebellion Camp and that Ivan actually considered him a friend. No. Not just that. _Everything. _How he practically wasted his life serving a dictatorship. How his parents basically sold their only son for corrupted money. How he had snapped at Gilbert.

Roderich inwardly sighed. He did actually feel bad for Ivan. The man wasn't cruel; he was a giant child. Both him and Ivan had been ridded of their childhood, maybe that explained the eldest one's behavior.

The Austrian made his way through the empty house and into the music room.

He slumped down on the bench of the piano, gently sliding his fingertips over the smooth keys.

He began to play Für Elise with ease on the singing instrument. It was always easy for him to play the musical piece, in fact; it bored him. But Gilbert always insisted he'd play it and right now Roderich was desperately trying to beacon his beloved friend.

He played it a second time.

He played it a third time.

And a fourth.

And a fifth.

His fingers hit the keys harder and harder with every note and by the time he was playing the song for the eleventh time he sharply smashed his hands on the piano.

"Vergessen dich, Gilbert!" He spat.

He slowly clenched and unclenched his fists. He was so sick of being the role model Body. He was sick of doing what he didn't want. God, he was sick. But what was he to do? He was alone.

…

(*Vergessen dich= Forget you.).


	5. Chapter 5

Gilbert ignored the sounds of bashing underneath him, which was coming from the music room. It gave him sick satisfaction to punish his crush for snapping at him. _Yes, _Gilbert has come to terms with liking the enchanting Austrian.

Although, the albino could not ignore the sounds of his stomach. Roderich prepared them a delicious dinner every night, and the thought of it made Gilbert's mouth water. Gilbert tried to convince himself that he wasn't hungry and that he could skip supper, but his convictions were futile.

He couldn't make his own dinner; he hardly knew how to make a proper breakfast. He could of gone out to eat, but he blew his paycheck on dirty magazines, beer and Gilbird's food. What he usually indulged in when upset.

Gilbert whined and walked downstairs, accepting defeat. Unsurprisingly, on the dining table across from where Roderich sat, there was a plate of food laid out for him.

Gilbert hummed happily. Roderich always thought ahead, Roderich always thought about Gilbert.

Tonight's dinner was nothing special, just an Austrian dish that Gilbert had seen Roderich make when not very inspired to cook, called "Chicken Schnitzel." Roderich thought the dish was boring, but Gilbert loved it, it awakened his taste buds. It was almost as good as Roderich's cakes.

Gilbert periodically glanced to Roderich, who was pouting more than usual. This made the Prussian smirk, the elegant adult's annoyance always made Gilbert content. Maybe the moodiness was a reminder to him that it was still Roderich behind those violet eyes, the same prissy Roderich he cared about, not some impostor.

_Which is really weird and creepy to think._ Gilbert pushed the thought away and looked at Roderich. He seemed to be deep in thought. He looked like he was battling his own thoughts. That's Roderich's problem, he never listens to himself, he's always too logical about his decisions.

"Was?" Roderich questioned in German.

_Was I staring? _Gilbert contained his embarrassment and decided to play it cool.

Violet eyes met scarlet.

"Sorry, I was checking you out," Gilbert scrunched his nose dramatically, "I have to say I've seen better."

"Not now," Roderich replied somewhat passive aggressively.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Yes," The brunette said monotonously.

"Why?"

Gilbert watched the young adult sit back in his chair and contemplate the question.

Gilbert observed how the lavender-eyed man's pupils dilated and how he fiddled with his thumbs.

"I-I'm not sure."

Gilbert beamed at his friend's nervous stuttering. "That's right. No reason to be mad at the awesome me."

Roderich nodded slowly, he wasn't upset with Gilbert; he was upset with himself.

"Gilbert…" his crush's eyes are casted downward, "I-I can't get you r-roped into this…. I don't –w-w-want you to think l-less of m-me."

His stammering was acting up like crazy.

"Specs," Gilbert remained cool, "You need to stop worrying. I'm not going think any less of you. The awesome Gilbert isn't a jerk."

"You sure do like that adjective..." he uttered, "Look…y-you hardl-l-y know m-me. I-I'm a _bad _person."

He whispered, 'bad' as if it was a dirty word that was meant solely for their ears. Gilbert shook his head; he wouldn't accept what he was hearing. "What do you mean I don't know you?" Gilbert eyed the squirming man, making him even more uncomfortable.

"I know everything about your personality. I mean, you're a snob, but I wouldn't say you're a downright bad person."

Gilbert leaned back his chair, snorting uncontrollably. Boy, he amused himself.

_Oh shit. _"Scheiße," Gilbert got up from his cushiony seat and kneeled next to the sobbing boy.

He rested on hand on the back of Roderich's chair and one on the other's palm.

"Hey, hey," Gilbert swallowed, trying to smooth out his husky voice. "Don't cry, specs. It was a joke. You're not a bad dude." Roderich just shook his head and continued to weep. Gilbert felt so desperate. Did Roderich really think this badly of himself? "Can't you just tell me what's on your mind?" Gilbert forced a smile, rubbing his best friend's tense back. "I won't judge you." His roommate shook his again, "J-just stay with me tonight." Gilbert frowned at the neediness in Roderich's voice, it was unlike him and it meant the thing that was bothering the musician was upsetting him more than Gilbert originally thought.

Without another word, Gilbert raised from the floor, his legs stiff from the crouching position he had been in.

He took Roderich's hand and went upstairs with him; no way was he leaving him alone in this state.

The crying, the begging, the anger…this couldn't be good. Gilbert usually kept his mind on dating his roommate, ways to make Roderich fall for him. But right now, he felt completely platonic towards the rich adult. Not that he didn't care for him in a romantic way, but right now he was just concerned about his emotional stability.

Man. Gilbert felt like a pussy. He knew he shouldn't. Only teenagers and insecure men feel degraded when dealing with emotional stuff. He had to deal with emotional stuff before; most of his friend's are a train wreck. Maybe it was just _Roderich _being sad that was what was making him feel troubled.

_Verdammt. I'm acting like a pre-teen bitch again. _

Gilbert always acted the most lovey-dovey out of the Beilschmidt brothers but this was getting kind of ridiculous.

Gilbert opened the door and sat Roderich on his bluish-purple bed and paced around the Austrian's room, he grazed his fingers over his ebony dresser, on the top of his full-length mirror and lightly rubbed the windowsill. It was obvious Gilbert was lost in thought.

"G-Gilbert…" Roderich whimpered. _I'm sorry._

Roderich felt like a complete fool.

Gilbert just turned and smiled. He never made anyone feel bad. He was always smiling. It was wonderful. Gilbert crawled next to Roderich, tonight the neat man wouldn't complain about Gilbert bringing his "street-clothes" into his bed. No, he just wanted to sleep.

With help of Gilbert he could relax. With Gilbert here he could sleep all his problems away.

…

Roderich awoke gracefully. Last night had been near perfection. He just slept near his awesome friend.

Roderich soundlessly stood up and walked to his dresser, looking for clothes. He giggled gleefully to himself.

_No, _'awesome' wasn't a great enough word to describe Gilbert. He was joyous, caring, hilarious. Perfect? No. Roderich had learned that no one was perfect. What was it? Selfless? No, Gilbert surely wasn't selfless. Charitable? Ha, yeah right. Gentle? Never. Despite his cruel pranks, mischievous ways, sloppiness and dark humor, Gilbert was one thing. An Angel.

Roderich dug his claws into his dresser. All the sudden his heart hurt.

_What do I think I'm doing? _

Roderich had to go into the Rebellion Camp today. He was acting juvenile.

_Anyway, _Roderich argued with himself, _he's the one hurting my chest. _

_You mean heart? _The Russian's voice was abrupt. Despite the childish hint in his words, he sounded cold and upset with Roderich.

_Whatever, same region. _

Roderich was pissed at himself again. Furious actually.

He left his home, the morning early and his roommate still sleeping.


	6. Chapter 6

"Mister Edelstein?"

Roderich had purposely ignored the nervous blonde as he inspected his surroundings.

As he scanned the crowded waiting room and silently prayed that this quirky Tiina character would get the hint and not pester him anymore.

The queasy feeling in his gut got more drastic when he heard her speaking. He felt like a traitor.

Roderich eyes lingered over the ruby red drapes that hung over the only two windows in the waiting room.

The room was way too tiny for the amount of people it held.

"Mister Edelstein?_ -That is your name,_ correct?"

Roderich stuffed his aggravation away.

"Yes. Uh, I've been awaiting initiation for well over three hours. I've filled out all of the paperwork. It's complete chaos in here."

"Oh?" Her deeper violet eyes greeted his brighter ones. "I'm sorry about that. It's rather difficult with so many people here! Uh…I'm supposed to take you to the last room."

Roderich followed the happy woman through the baby blue doors, by the time they reached their destination; Tiina had cracked several jokes, mainly containing corny puns, to which Roderich could only blink.

"Sorry," she smiled, "I just wanted to lighten the mood. I make way too many jokes, I swear I'm going to be _pun_ished one day."

Roderich was too frazzled by the Finnish woman to even reply.

"Heh. So, I'm going to give you a paper with questions about your life in Old Country and then a paper about the history of Old Country."

It was so foreign to Roderich to hear terms like 'Old Country,' and 'History.' Both terms were looked down upon in his homeland.

Tiina handed him two papers that were stapled together, along with a pink pen:

What was your occupation in Old Country? BODY.

If you have partaken in Government missions as an informant, is your partner with you? NO.

If no, please specificity. DEAD.

Are you related to any Government officials? NO.

Are you married? NO.

Are any minors dependent on you? NO.

Will you abide to the laws of the Camp? YES.

Are you willing to serve, comply with and protect the Camp? YES.

…..

…

….

BASIC LEGISLATION (will be revised later.):

You will cease any existing connection with Old Country personnel.

You will cease any existing connection with Old Country citizens.

3. All Euros must be cashed in for Camp currency. (Violators will be punished with a €3000 fine or five months in prison. (IS EQUAL TO 3000 IN CAMP CURRENCY.)

You may not threaten anyone in Camp. There will be consequences for death threats. (Up to 6 months in prison.)

Conspiring against Camp or its citizens will result in banishment.

No person may commit larceny, theft, armed robbery, arson, rape, molestation, physical or sexual harassment, assault, homicide or mass murder. (If you need further details, please talk to our solicitor or one of our counselors in Camp Hall or their private offices.)

One must not hold their own freedom before their neighbors.

…

Roderich sighed, reviewing the rules twice before setting them down.

_Nein… _

_Huh? What did you say, Roderich? _

_Hm. Nothing. Sorry, Braginsky. _

_No, it's all good, my body. You're not second-guessing us, right? _

_What would give you that idea?_

_Nichego_ (_ничего__), my body. _

"One last thing, sir Edelstein," the rosy cheeked girl handed him one last sheet, "It's just a helpful little paper. It gives a little history and geography about Old Country. A little background."

"A-ah?"

"Yes. Also, would you like a map of the Camp? Maybe the number of an adviser?"

"O-oh…" Roderich smacked his lips and fidgeted uncomfortably. He didn't like talking to strangers much. "No, I think I'll be fine."

"Okay, you can proceed into the Camp grounds, now. You'll have to wait awhile before we can fit you into a living space, the wait it usually about three hours. We _might _be able to take you into an apartment with roommates, but you'll most likely get a tent. I suggest reading your paper in the meanwhile, getting situated with our town, visiting the local sights and bistros. It's a real nice place, sir. The people are nice, too."

"Hei." Roderich's lips were almost too weary to smile. "…Thank you, miss."

….

…

..

.

The camp was a cheery community.

Roderich felt the charming energy bounce off of the town and onto him.

It was a cutesy, small area, and not very built up.

Very few shops and apartments were in the area, and the ones that were didn't appear very sturdy. Most were just large tents or wood shacks.

Roderich observed that wasn't any electricity in the community and learned that at six o'clock at night they would put out street candles and every household with children were assigned one candle at night.

The sweet Finnish woman had obviously exaggerated about the Camp's eatery and scenery.

The park was mainly untamed grass and a dirt road.

When Roderich trekked into the wild park he couldn't help but feel an absence within himself.

Like something was missing, something crucial for his completeness.

The Camp didn't feel very homely, now.

Roderich dug around the velvet pocket of his navy blue overcoat and pulled out his cellphone.

He flicked through his contacts; he didn't have many numbers.

His fingers prodded violently on his phone as he eyed his mother's digits.

He scrolled down his phone once more.

…

CONTACTS:

_Elizaveta_

_Father. _

_Gilbert The Deviant. _

_Ivan._

_Mother. _

_Vash (associate.) _

_Z-Ludwig. _

Roderich blinked.

'_Z-Ludwig?' _

He was certain he hadn't added this contact to his phone.

Did his mother or father put it in there?

It wasn't unlikely they'd add a coworker, but the thing that had struck Roderich's attention was the _'z.'_

This person wanted the contact at the bottom of the list.

To go unnoticed.

'_Strange,' _Roderich thought and scrolled up.

His smooth finger hesitated over Gilbert's name.

He felt as if he was obligated to call him at this time, even though there wasn't a reason.

_Why would I call him? _

…

_Yes, why would you call him, my body? _

It was a known fact that Roderich became frantic easily and he stuttered crazily.

_A-ah…I-I just wanted to talk to h-h-im. It's going to be awhile before t…they can give me a t-t-tent. _

_Don't stutter so much, it doesn't become you. _

_Y-yeah__**. **_Roderich cleared his throat. _How long will I be here?___

_I don't know. Don't get impatient, body. I don't like it when you're stubborn__**. **_

The polished man nodded, uncertain and indifferent about if Ivan had felt his gesture or not. __

As Roderich walked down the park he found his steps become heavier, his body overtaken by jadedness.

"You traitor."

The whispered sentence seemed foreign to his lips.

Not once had he been called a traitor, he was often praised by his co-workers and family.

_They just want money. _

Roderich suppressed the thought, fearful that Ivan would hear it.

"What about the people who matter?"

Roderich figured that he'd ponder his feelings aloud, that way it'd be harder for Ivan to understand.

"The people who don't want money. The unselfish. The pure ones."

"…_But who are those people?"_

"Gilbert?" Roderich questioned.

"It has to be."

That crude adult was really the only one that_ just_ wanted to be with him.

"Not '_to be'_ with me," Roderich corrected himself, "Just to exist with me."

Emotions of yearning and warmth clashed with his frustration and shame.

Roderich tried to think of others that didn't want anything selfish from their friendship.

"_Elizaveta?" _

She was a nice classmate-friend from his teenage days, but she wasn't particularly close to him.

_You're feeling dreadful, my sweet!___The Russian accent rang annoyingly through his head. _What's wrong? _

An amused smile tugged at Roderich's cheeks.

"Nothing," he replied sweetly and submissively. "I'm in Nirvana."

…..

….

…

…

OLD COUNTRY AND CAMP.

Do you know there are places other than Old Country and Camp?

Old Country teaches that the areas surrounding of Old Country and Camp are just badlands. This is not true. The people living outside of Old Country and Camp aren't just nomads, but are part of different civilizations.

There were 196 countries before Old Country gained vast political power. There has been no current estimation of remaining countries.

Do Hackers have unlimited control over their Bodies?

No. It is common beliefs that Hackers have the ability to always tell where their Body is and can always send them shocks of pain.

This is a manipulative way of making Bodies cooperative. Bodies can block their Hackers out with little concentration. It is also possible to disconnect from a Hacker, but a Body may never be reconnected or connect with a Hacker again.

What was the "Homeland" originally called?

Old Country, or citizen-named "Homeland," was once called Austria and belonged to a federal republic type of government.

Old Country began with a large crime organization named 'Homeland Commonwealth.'

Homeland Commonwealth used the argument that they were trying to rid the world of corrupted governments and that they wanted to help build a utopia.

Many people from China and Russia jumped on the Homeland Commonwealth bandwagon, but soon, Homeland Commonwealth officials became lustful with power. Homeland Commonwealth was growing by the second, and finally, succeeded in overthrowing parts of France, parts of Canada, Morocco, many places that were part of the African Union, parts of Germany, parts of Italy and finally Austria.

This was no reflection on the countries' strength or tactics. Due to Homeland's organized criminals, random attacks and brutal strategies, all of the attacked countries were left to fend by themselves against savage enemies.

Luckily, civilizations are being to regain their strength and many countries and joining forces to overthrow the Old Country military.

_This is a very basic overview; please see the local library or adviser for further information_

….…..

….

….

Roderich rested the paper on his lap and shut his eyes.

His mind was boggled with new knowledge.

"Teufel." Roderich rarely said anything unchristian, but he wasn't paying any heed towards that personal rule now. "was jetzt geschieht?"

…..

…

…

…

…

Hey, guys! Sorry this chapter is pretty uneventful, but I have a lot more chapters already written down. Hoped you liked this.

Also, I used Nirvana instead of Heaven or any other 'paradise' on purpose.

Heaven is more of a cheerful place where as Nirvana is more of a state of mind where you're free from desiring, suffering and selfishness.

No, I am not Buddhist, (My religious beliefs are irrelevant, but for the record, I am an atheist,) but I think it fits along with some themes of what Roderich is feeling.

I'm not sure if you understand what I'm trying to explain…

*Teufel= devil. (Bloody hell/fiend/demon.)

*Was jetzt geschieht? = What happens now? /What's happening?

*Hei= whoa/wow.

*Nichego= nothing.

Side note: Sorry if you see an awkward "3," in some of my sentences.

is taking away all my numbers (in the lists) but leaving the three.

It might work now, and you might have no idea what I'm speaking about, but if it keeps being stupid I'm sorry the 'rules' and whatnot weren't numbered.


	7. Chapter 7

Roderich pushed down gently on the keys with his pointer and index finger.

The familiar sound lingered in the air lightly, almost causing him to sigh. Music had, had to be the most inspirational thing in his life.

Roderich scooted over on the ebony piano bench and absent-mindedly stared out the window.

The green world outside of his house remained silent, nobody was noisily walking down the pebbled path, in fact; it appeared there was nobody out there at all.

And for the first time, he took comfort in isolation.

Only accompanied by music and magical scenery. Nobody could order him around, or see his flaws. He was free to act and think in any manner he wanted.

The brunette vowed at that moment that he could live in almost complete solitude his whole life. _Almost._

He'd at least need one companion.

One person, so he wouldn't go mad.

Of course, this person would have to live up to Roderich's expectations.

Their beauty and brightness had to match the things surrounding him.

He smiled warmly at the thought of living in such a way, and pressed his palm to the window. The frost from the outside of the glass nipped at his skin, but it wasn't too painful.

Violet eyes scanned the green terrain, glancing towards the other houses, over the rocks and the pound.

There was no sign of Gilbert. Roderich suppressed a groan.

He was thoroughly bored. He needed to find something to do.

With slothful effort he stood up from the bench and made his way down the mahogany hall.

Roderich slyly maneuvered through his living room, pulled out his secret fold up chair and slipped a paper out of his black coat.

He reread OLD COUNTRY AND CAMP, but still couldn't wrap his head around the whole idea.

Frankly, being fed the incorrect information his whole life by the Government hadn't surprised him, but this new information still seemed foreign and unreal.

Maybe Roderich was too naïve, but he couldn't quite understand the purpose behind this global ordeal.

Had 'Homeland Commonwealth' really thought that they were ridding the world of corruption?

_"Crazy," _Roderich mumbled, his head spinning, "crazy."

….

A deep uneasiness settled within him, bluish-purple eyes adjusting to the dark lighting.

He jolted up with back-pain from the uncomfortable chair.

"I must've fallen asleep," he panted.

He tried to control his shaky hands with no avail, his head was fuzzy and cluttered; it frightened him.

He chomped his lip and studied his living room. Everything was intact, nothing had changed- except the lighting (because of the change of time), but he couldn't shake the feeling of anxiety and eeriness.

With a thump in his chest, he realized he was being watched.

It was undeniable.

Of course, he had, had the feeling of a presence of someone that wasn't there before, but this was different. This was an instinctual rush; he _knew _someone was near him.

Roderich's pressed on his heels and fled his home, never escaping the intruder's glare.

"Gilbert!" Roderich ran into the pebbled path, wheezing. "Gilbert! Bitte!"

Roderich spun clumsily around the town.

The green ground below him was damp and murky; it had obviously rained.

It was terrifyingly dark, due to the small amount of streetlights.

The cold made his hair stand on his arms, and panic clenched his heart.

Roderich's first instinct was to curl into a ball, but that wouldn't be beneficial.

He debated trying to look for help, but he might get lost.

A snapping noise broke his thoughts. A crackle of a predator accidentally alerting his victim.

Roderich shot back into his house with impressive speed, locking the door and flicking on the light-switch.

"Help?" He called weakly, praying a friend would be in his house.

Roderich stood there blankly, he was agonizingly exposed to whoever was around him.

The lights near the staircase turned on, and Roderich prepared himself for a fight or escape.

Heavy footsteps stepped down the stairs, and out appeared a friendly face.

"What hell was the screaming for, specs?" Gilbert snickered, mockingly, "See a bug?"

Roderich's heartbeat slowly began to calm.

And he allowed himself to laugh.

"No, I recalled your face."

The duo laughed at each other.

Roderich could still feel the menacing stare on his back, but he decided with another person he could be unafraid.

No way was he going to allow anything to happen to him or Gilbert.

He felt strangely protective over Gilbert, but even more so of their life together.

The man shook off his weak-knees and went to Gilbert's side.

"Want to go to the cinema?"

…..

…..

Gilbert hadn't expected Roderich to be so intoxicated by the film.

It was a neat little movie about an ethereal world. There were pirates, romance, action, monsters, and kingdoms all existing in a winter wonderland.

The smaller had his magnificent eyes glued to the screen, his slender hands folded before him, but the most entertaining thing about his body language was every time the scenes' became more intense, Roderich's face became more worried and he'd bite his lip.

Gilbert smirked contently, and turned back to the film.

During the last few parts of the movie, Roderich seemed to loosen up; he even rested his head on his roommate.

The silver-haired adult didn't find it strange, his defense being that they were best friends and he was just happy his crush was relaxing.

Roderich had always been uptight, but Gilbert noticed he had been particularly exhausted and stressed lately.

Gilbert considered pulling on Roderich's hair, just to annoy him, which would momentarily entertain the trickster.

But, it was Roderich's sleepy-face that convinced Gilbert to just pat the other's hair and remain quiet.

Even though Gilbert didn't speak about it, the first thing that attracted him to Roderich was his understanding of loneliness.

Gilbert, too, had felt many years of loneliness.

There were hard times.

He had gone to bars, gotten drunk and possibly had sex. He had made brief conversation with people at the market. He had played pranks on acquaintances or purposely-confused bystanders, but none of this truly made him any less lonely.

His brother was busy trying to rebel against the Government, or as Ludwig had called it, _"Der Roboter," _from the inside of Homeland.

Recently, Ludwig had been exiled from Homeland, leaving Gilbert homeless.

Thank god Ludwig had _just _been exiled, and not exterminated- like they do to some rebels.

Gilbert knew his brother had made it to the Camp.

Anyway, Gilbert thought that Roderich and him had an understanding of each other, they could stand each other, and not only that, they _wanted _to be in the same area.

Yes, they bickered, but he found it endearing. And it was sure funny, also.

They'd never get into fights because neither wanted to hurt each other, they could discuss their issues gently.

They truly recognized one another as _humans, _who had stories, thoughts, embarrassing moments and illogical feelings.

He knew they had _something._

They held in their hands something tender and adventurous.

They had (_love?)_


	8. Chapter 8

_Maybe, _he pondered.

Gilbert felt an absent on his shoulder and glanced toward his side.

To the left of Roderich stood two men, one who had tapped Roderich's shoulder.

"Are you Roderich Edelstein?" Asked one with a scar on his forehead.

The speaker was a young stud with spiked up blond hair and unfriendly atmosphere. Next to the speaker was another blond man with green eyes and who appeared a bit younger, also, a noticeable feature was his gun strapped happily to his waist.

"…Yes…" Roderich responded hesitantly.

"I'm officer Tim and this is my partner, Vash Zwingli."

"D-d-did I…." The nervous adult coughed, "Do something wrong?"

"I don't know," Vash deadpanned, "We need to ask you some questions."

Roderich wore an obvious scared face. "Alright."

"Step outside with us," Tim ordered.

….

The two officers found a secluded area behind the cinema.

"Mr. Edelstein, you went on a mission to recover information about Camp last week on Monday, and the mission was inconclusive, correct?"

Roderich tried to avoid Tim's gaze, extremely nervous.

"Y-yes, sir."

"We're just a little curious, what did the Camp teach you about Homeland Commonwealth?"

Roderich stopped himself from wincing and whimpered, "huh?"

"Don't be dumb, Edelstein. We're not stupid."

Roderich glanced at Vash, who remained silent and serious.

"They…. they j-j-ust spoke about how the Homeland Commonwealth started because…they w-w-want-ted to ri-id the…world…of…. corrupt governments…" Roderich sucked air through his teeth, the two officers still waiting for more information, "I didn't pay very much attention to it, they gave me a…. uh…some papers discussing history, but, but, I d-d-didn't pay-y too much at-tention to i-i-i-t."

"Calm down, guy." Tim gave him an intimating glare, "Now, these papers, did you keep them?"

Roderich's face flushed, he could feel in his bones that it wasn't a good idea to tell the truth here. "N-no. I threw them away."

Roderich look straight-ahead trying not to give any hint that those papers were in his pockets.

"I'm sorry, Edelstein," Tim faked sympathy. "But you've been...exposed to bad information, knowledge higher than your rank. We've come here for your arrest."

The accused openly gasped. "Excuse me? I didn't-t-t do anything w-wrong!"

Roderich knew ones who were arrested in Homeland hardly ever left jail, or lived.

"Yes, Edelstein, but you've been exposed-"

"_Exposed? _You keep saying 'ex-ex-posed!' But, I was _a-a-ask_ed to go on this mission! I mean, I mean, how can you _arr-arrest _me for _that? _No! N-no!"

Roderich needed to get away from here. He would _not _be arrested.

In the corner of his eye, he could see Gilbert in front of the cinema, waiting impatiently.

"Gilbert!"

"What are you doing?" The officer growled.  
"Calling over my _friend_."

"What's up, boys?"

Roderich automatically clung to Gilbert's red jacket.

"They want to _arrest_ me," Roderich whispered, "P-please, do something."

Gilbert understood that people who were arrested were basically never released and usually murdered.

Gilbert nodded, clenched his hands together and knocked Tim in the face.

The tall, muscly man fell on his hands and knees.

"Hey!" Vash finally spoke up, his voice made Roderich tremble.

With no hesitation a firm hand pulled Roderich and the pair were running through the street.

Roderich didn't have much time to think, he could only try to hear how far away the officers were.

Roderich latched his sweaty hands onto Gilbert's, not feeling safe with him, but hopeful holding onto him.

A _'pang,_' noise screamed into the air followed by variations of yelps and screams.

"Gilbert!" Roderich cried. Having no idea where they were, only that they were in the general area around the cinema.

Gilbert squeezed his friend's hand and pulled them behind a clothing store, and they began to catch their breath.

Roderich's head was spinning, he reached out to grab Gilbert's coat, but the albino turned and walked toward the side of building and peeked at the town.

"Okay, okay," Gilbert, mumbled, "The car is about five buildings away."

The two sprinted again, this time beside the backside of the stores.

Yelling was heard behind them, but it took Roderich a moment to register it was the two officers.

Gilbert and Roderich glanced behind them, revealing Vash holding his gun in shooting-stance.

"Stop!" Roderich nearly halted and surrendered when Gilbert pulled him in-between two stores just as another gunshot was fired.

Before Roderich could make sense of anything, Gilbert kept them running through the street, this time going with the crowd of people in town.

Roderich recognized the parking lot they were headed to and sprinted ahead, without being able to breathe.

Gilbert clicked his car-keys and slid into his blue van with ease.

Gilbert jolted the car into the streets and raced speedily down the road until they reached a highway and his nerves were less shot.

Roderich's heart was hammering in his throat, his hands were cold and he had a massive headache.

"G-G-Gilbert," he murmured, "Where are we going?"

Gilbert didn't reply, but he was taking them to Ludwig's old home, Gilbert had left some supplies there.

Roderich curled his shaking body in the passenger-seat and fiercely watched the streets; no way was he going to let those officers catch them.


	9. Chapter 9

Roderich felt himself wake, and he tried to lift his eyelids, but they were too burdened with worry and fatigue.

His mouth parted, and he did the action of sighing, but if it actually made a noise, he did not know.

The aroma of familiarity and hope danced around him, and made his chest warm and heavy.

In this state, he could feel everything, but knew nothing.

The cheap, plastic-like material that he usually despised in the van was a cot of comfort and rest.

His fingers grazed the smooth seat, his face leaning on a chilly window, and through his closed eyelids he could see the outlining of trees and buildings. They'd spark into his black vision, for just a moment then disappear into the darkness once more. There were all sorts of colors. Purple, blue, white and sometimes green. The trees would bounce and sway to the music.

_Music?_

Roderich had become desperately confused on where the music was coming from. The plucking of a guitar, hints of piano and a light, almost inaudible singing voice.

And he felt some part of his body being touched.

Was it kissed? Patted? Stroked?

He couldn't tell.

Which part of his body was being touched?

His chest? His forehead? His neck? His _arm? _

_Arm. _He focused on the arm, slowly moving closer to the handled area.

_Arm. Arm. Shoulder? Wrist? Wrist? Wrist? Fin-. Fingers. _

His fingers were being touched gently.

Was it soft lips touching them or a tender hand?

He couldn't tell.

He made a noise.

A _groan? _A _whine? _

Some sort of soft complaint. He longed to inch closer to the body touching him. _Gilbert? _To interlace their warmness.

But, he couldn't move.

He tried to get comfortable and blissful again, he tried to focus on the purple trees and plastic seats, but it was impossible.

Another kiss was planted on his finger (or was it a thumb rubbing on his own?)

…He waited. He impatiently waited for another sensation on his fingers. The longer he waited, the angrier he became. Inside his head he was throwing a temper-tantrum only fit for a toddler. He felt spoiled, but how could he not be furious when he was given something so lovely and then had it taken away from him?

_Roderich's logic, _he thought half-mindedly, _is not making any sense. _

'Roderich?'

_Monarch. Tall. Tall. Scary. Scary. Mind. _My_ mind? Our mind? _Theirs. Theirs. Theirs.

"Theirs…theirs…"

'What did you say, my body?'

'Ivan!'

'Where are you? Where are you running?'

Roderich didn't reply, quickly blinking his eyes awake to find Gilbert holding his hand. He adjusted himself in the car.

'Roderich!'

A sharp pain jabbed the right side of his forehead.

'Roderich. Roderich. Roderich_._'

Again, he didn't respond.

A while passed, and Roderich figured Ivan had stopped trying to search his brain.

And Ivan had left him alone. It was a new voice that entered his head.

_'They took out your eyes!'_


	10. Chapter 10

They parked in front of a plain white house. The windows were suspiciously tinted, and the grass looked as if it hadn't been cut for months.

"My brother's old house," Gilbert explained, "Stay right here. I'm going to break in, and get some supplies my brother left here."

Roderich nodded weakly.

It took less than five minutes.

"I found a few things under the plywood. €300. Some water, a map of The Camp and how to get there…. I guess my little Ludwig always figured I'd screw up with the law." Roderich's pale friend laughed.

"The _law_. You could be the law's errand boy and you'll still end up fucked over."

"_Roderich!" _Gilbert jeered in a high voice. "_Don't use such language."_

"Whatever…"

The usually rowdy car seemed to be plagued with dead air.

Gilbert started up the engine; Roderich reclined his chair.

…..

…

….

….

When Roderich realized that the Government had chosen his career, he tried to look at with a lazy prospective.

He'd have enough money to buy a big house-(maybe a few houses), to have nice food, clothes and vacations. He could support his family.

The job wasn't too hard either. Plus, he only had to go into the Lab when he was young. He used to scurry about with Ivan. Ivan would chase him around, being bossy, being abrupt.

But, Ivan would always give Roderich his lunch. (His family would always forget to pack his.)

He blamed the Lab's staff for Ivan's czar-like behavior.

Inside of the Lab were two small black stools, only big enough for children.

Across from those chairs was a desk, with a laptop and stacks of paperwork.

The floor was carpeted blue, and the white walls were filled with pictures of children smiling and holding hands.

"Ivan," the seemingly sweet Neuro-therapist told Roderich's Hacker. "As Roderich's Hacker you carry a lot of responsibility. You both are very young, but you need to know your jobs. Okay, Ivan?"

"Yeah!"

"That's good." The brunette-or was it auburn (Roderich's memory was hazy) haired lady would flash her white smile.

"Hackers and Bodies have two different jobs they must complete to make a whole," she spoke to both of us; but it was directed at Ivan. "Hackers must lead their Bodies, and act as firm, but righteous overseers. You can't abuse power. Do you understand what I mean by 'abusing power?'"

"Yeah!"

"That's good."

"As the Hacker you must support your Body. To truly harness a powerful Link you must act in harmony. The Hacker must fulfill his job. He must focus on keeping the Link tight and firm. He'll also be in charge of understanding the ins-and-outs of his Body, himself, and their relationship. Now, Mr. Edelstein, you have another role. You must support the Hacker. Hold him up, in a sense. You must be attentive, cooperative and coherent. Do you understand what I mean?"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah."

Roderich tried to get excited about being Ivan's Body. When he was younger he thought the role was significant and gentle, even if it wasn't as bold or commanding as Ivan's.

"Hackers must communicate, encourage and guide their Bodies during an assignment. Their Bodies must respond, act, exchange information, and revert when there is a new mission."

...

...

...

...

His violet eyes blinked awake. He picked up his spectacles and put them on.

The day was surprisingly lucid. The brightness draped onto his bright-haired friend as he drove.

"Morning." Gilbert said briefly.

"Morning…"

"I bought coffee and eggs."

Roderich smiled sweetly.

He could imagine a life with Gilbert. That's a man he would of supported.

He wouldn't mind being the yarn to their kite.

As long as Gilbert flew up high, Roderich could stay on the ground. To watch him succeed was enough for Roderich. A privilege, even.

It seemed unfair that they had to live like this. And it was Roderich's fault.

"Let me see your phone, huh? Will you, Roddy?"

Gilbert went down Roderich's contacts to _'Z-Ludwig.' _

"Explains it."

"What?"

"Nothing…"

Gilbert placed the device to his ear.

"Hey, little bro! It's the awesome me."

There was a frustrated groan from the phone, and Gilbert cracked up.

"Yeah, yeah. So…you got any room in that casa el tent?"

A large amount of shouting spurting from the phone.

"Yeah! Yeah! Ludwig. Luddy, Luddy…. calm down. Your big bro is coming for a visit," Gilbert frowned. "Oh come on, that's a real big tent. It's bigger than your old home…thanks. Thanks, brother."

"Oh, yeah," he smiled, "I'm bringing a friend."

He hung up before his poor brother could reply.

"We are…going to the Camp?" The thinner assumed.

Gilbert nodded.

_Shoot, _Roderich thought.

How was he supposed to avoid this?

He was fleeing his Homeland, but he couldn't return to the Camp.

They'd arrest him for treason there.

They had his name and picture. He had entered the Camp, and left back to the Country. They'd arrest him for life.

Roderich hung his head.

_The Camp is best possibility for Gilbert's success, _he had thought.

How could he come out with the truth?

How could he of admitted all of the shame? His work, his betrayal to the people. He let Ivan twist him around his finger, and why? Because of his family? He was a downright coward. Living in his box.

For sometime he had believed the Government had completely blinded him, but was that true? Roderich was beginning to think it was his own spinelessness.

"Feed me some eggs!"

"Ex-excuse me?"

"Come on, _Roddy,_" he smirked cockily, "If I ate those eggs, I'd have to take my hand off the wheel. I'm not a super good driver. We'll probably get into a car-crash. I'm not wearing a seatbelt. Roddy, I'll die. Oh shit! Look, my hand is levitating off the wheel. The eggs are pulling me in. I can't stop it. I-"

"Okay! For Pete's sake, you're a lunatic."

"I said take me as I am, cause you might enjoy some madness for a while.

Now, think of all the years you tried to find someone to satisfy you. I might be as crazy as you say; if I'm crazy then it's true. That it's all because of you, and you wouldn't want me any other way. You may be right, I may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for," he sang in a familiar tune.

"Billy Joel…that's over fifty years old," Roderich stifled his grin. "You memorized all of that?"  
"I memorized that whole god damn song! It's my life! I'm going to find a babe like the one in that song, I'm going to drive them up the wall."

Roderich smiled gracefully. "I think you do that to everyone."

"Yeah, yeah. Feed me my eggs."

He rolled his eyes, and sensed all of his stresses momentarily melt.

Roderich put the fork to Gilbert's face, which he ate sloppily from, dropping egg from his mouth to his crush's hand.

"Yuck!" He exclaimed. "Gilbert! You're just…y-you're just feral!"

Roderich's crush laughed.

Gilbert turned to him. His eyes filled with sentiment, and his face red from laughter. "God, you're just perfect."

A cold sweat broke loose on Roderich's body. He had been called 'perfect' a few times, and had been showered in many other compliments before.

Gilbert's words warmed his heart. His body felt full of beauty, and space where his feelings could roam.

That had to be the most meaningful praise ever.

_To be called perfect, _he thought, _what wonder. _

His cheeks felt warm, as if he was getting a fever, and it confused him.

"No, not perfect," he didn't know how to comeback, "I just like you."

_Dear god, _Roderich thought. He couldn't even bear to look at his crush.

How could he admit that when he couldn't go the Camp with Gilbert? This fondness was futile. He felt like a grade-schooler.

A hand intertwined his own, which just caused him more embarrassment. He palms were _very _sweat.

"Good gracious," he mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"You have no idea what you mean to me," Gilbert said in a monotone voice, "I don't know what you did, but we're okay. Fuck the Government. Forget all of that stuff. We're going to be fine."


	11. Chapter 11

"Gil…"

"Yeah, Specs?"

"Want to pull over?"

"What!" He laughed. He had been gleeful lately. "Why would I do that?"

Roderich gulped. He was going to be the one to blow all his happiness away.

He was a mess. A total mess.

"Things h-have been such a…m-muck." He confessed. "I don't know w-w-hat to do. I've…. made such a disaster out of things."

He felt so habituated to Gilbert; but his friend offered an overwhelming comforting sense of protection.

"_Hey, _specs. Don't worry about that stuff. What did I tell you?" He asked in a patronizing tone. "It'll all be fine."

"Yeah, well-l-l!" He tried to be stern, but relented, as always, "It's important."

Their car pulled off to the side.

"Yeah?"

"Yes…"

He peered out his window. He looked at the earth. The trees, the road, the buildings.

He found himself wondering how it all got like this. How did anything get the way it was?

"What am I doing?" He said lightly.

"Uh," Gilbert slapped his map, "Well, we're running away."

"I…" Roderich shook his head. He thought of the smells of his friend, he thought of all the feelings, and all the touches.

They would disappear. It scared Roderich. It scared him to the point of tears.

He didn't want to say anything. He really didn't want to say anything.

"I can't go with you."

He looked at Roderich. He was silent, and then he spoke.

"Why?"

He asked. "Why would you say that?"

Roderich's throat was dry. He turned from the window to face Gilbert. That was the proper way of apologizing.

"I betrayed the Camp while… I was in service for the Government. I'm sorry."

"What, why?" Gilbert paused. "…_Why_?"

"I'm sorry," Roderich's sad eyes flickered. "I-I didn't feel I had much of a choice."

He gripped the wheel angrily. "Don't you think ahead, man?"

The hints of disgust began to show in Gilbert's voice.

"I know, I know! M-may-maybe I could just try to get to another state? -_Look, look, at these papers!" _

Roderich handed him the papers he had gotten at the Camp.

"I reckon I could go somewhere out of _here. _Not Homeland, not Camp."

Gilbert's eyebrows crossed, and his face contorted in confusion.

"I don't understand any of this. _What?_" He barked, "Other Countries?"

Roderich sunk into his seat, shaken up by Gilbert's booming voice.

His ex-roommate huffed, and sat silent for twenty minutes.

"You don't even know how to get out. _I don't _either." He shook his head. "I can't believe this…"

Roderich bowed his head further down. "Maybe your brother will know what to do?"

"Yes…" Gilbert exhaled shakily. "Give a fake name when you get there. Luckily they'll let us through."

"Yes, or I'll be tossed in jail."

Gilbert turned sharply and bellowed: "You've been blind, Roderich!"


	12. The End

They did make it to Ludwig's tent.

"This is your friend?" Ludwig asked shortly.

"Yes."

"The one with the problem?"

"Yes."

Ludwig nodded and faced Roderich: "Listen, I can take you out to the Country's border tomorrow morning. You'll end up in a safe place called _Switzerland." _He took a moment to light a cigarette, "Unfortunately, they don't take in foreigners. There will be these men in green uniforms. They'll take you into Germany. Germany is an occupied place, but everyone lives in the mainland. The Swiss guards will take you through the outskirts, into a little place that used to be called the Netherlands. There's nothing really there, now. Anyway, finally, you'll get onto a ship and make your way to the United Kingdom. There you go. Freedom."

Roderich shook in anticipation of his long journey.

_Freedom, _Roderich thought. _You have to do so much for freedom. _

It made him irate.

The tent was a baby blue. Ten feet tall, and with what seemed like a twenty feet width.

It was a huge tent.

Inside there was a small kitchen, with no fridge, a long brown table, and a white bed. In the middle of it sat a grand piano.

"You hear that, Roddy?" Gilbert smiled weakly. "We'll be free soon."

"_Both _of you_?" _His brother asked. "I don't think that's a good idea. We'll talk about it in the morning, Gilbert."

Gilbert nodded.

"Dinner." Ludwig grabbed three mangos from his cabinet.

"Listen," Ludwig, said brusquely, "You two will have to sleep outside. I'm real sorry, but the officers come in lots in the night, to check if everything is all right. They'll ask why you're staying in my tent. You risk exposure."

"It's fine," Gilbert snickered, mouth full of mango. "Good thinking, little bro."

…

He had never seen it before. The stars unspoiled by city lights. The dark blue space was full of white stars. For once, Roderich didn't feel like he was staring at a void consuming the Earth. It made him feel small, but important. Of all the planets, of the galaxies, he was here. So many things were falling in love, or making love, suffering, dying or starting.

He was here, at the edge of what used to be Austria.

He turned in his sleeping bag. He looked at Gilbert. He wondered if Gilbert felt the same asperity and caress from the sky.

Gilbert's maroon red eyes stared at the sky with a smile.

Maybe, he saw beauty.

"Are you cold?"

Roderich blinked. "No, not really. It's chilly, but it's nice, huh?"

"Yes, it is." He agreed softly.

_I think he's scared of being heard, _Roderich thought. _If he's scared, I am too. _

"Are you scared for tomorrow?" Gilbert inquired.

"I'm not sure. It's a very alien concept."

"I'm not scared, I'm excited."

Roderich looked at the sky again. Feeling watched, feeling like he hadn't explored enough. _I want to see what's out there, _he thought, his heart beating heavily.

"I'm going with you, you know."

Roderich frowned, and smiled, and frowned. "Why? Didn't you hear your brother?"

"I don't have to listen to my little brother, Roddy."

Roderich wanted to inch closer. To be where he was, with Gilbert.

"It's so…. unknown."

Roderich's eyelids hung from tiredness. It began to govern him.

He wanted to talk more, but he could hardly stay awake.

"What…" he whispered, "About Ludwig? He's your family."

"He'll be fine without me," Gilbert said sadly, "I've lost him once, and maybe I'll see him again…."

He let out a small protesting noise.

"You're my family," Gilbert stated, "I love you."  
Roderich subsided.

…..

….

…..

Roderich woke up to a purplish-sky. It was morning.

Green planes filled the once starry sky.

A sense of dread poured into Roderich. The ground shook once in a while. Gilbert was not next to him.

He finally settled into him surroundings, and screamed.

His legs quivered as he stood. There were no birds singing, or people walking about.

He ran into the tent. _I have to get under cover. _

"Gilbert!" He screamed and pleaded. "Gilbert!"

The Earth roared and trembled.

Where has he gone? Roderich's thoughts speed through his mind. Had he been taken? Had he died?

All possibilities. All war.

He noticed a small lined-paper. On it said:

_'We've gone out. Something seems to be happening. Don't be scared- Gilbert.' _

He tucked the paper into his pocket. He thought of the planes that caused so much fear, and the sky that caused so much wonder.

"How did it all happen?" He asked helplessly.

He had confidence in Gilbert, still.

He sat on the bench of the piano.

His fingers traced the keys.

Roderich debated whether or not to go out and look for Gilbert.

The roaring of the planes filled that morning, the sounds of screaming as well.

He began to play Für Elise, instead.


End file.
